Friday, June 18, 2010

True Friends

Having friends can be a tricky proposition in my opinion. I think the trick is to accept that there are some friends that are more on the outer edges of my life. Some friends stay on the outside because of distance, although social media and email make that list much shorter than it used to be. It so easy to stay in touch these days, if a person really wants to that is.

Some friends on the outside are there because you just don’t have time or the inclination to really stay in touch. I have friends that I only see every couple of years, but it is like we were just together, and I know when we are apart they have a great love and concern for me and vice versa. Theses are also the friends that when they get even a whiff of something bad going on in my life will ring me up, or send me a message on Facebook asking me how I am and if I need prayers.

Some friends stay on the outside because of selfishness. These are the friends that only ring you when they want something from you, or want to talk about themselves. The kind of friend that never asks about you, or very rarely will fit in a quick, “so how are you?”, right before interrupting your response to correlate you current life to their experience thereby turning the conversation back to them.

Also in this category are the manipulative friends, the ones that will acts as though you are their only friend when they talk to you, which isn’t often. These are the friends that usually want something from you, like emotional support for their less than stellar actions, or to share some news. i.e., I haven’t talked to you in months but I am getting married or having a baby, or am trying to right all the wrongs in the world.

Then there are the full time friends. We can usually count them on one hand because they are few and far between. They transcend ages and backgrounds. Although sometimes it is the similarity in backgrounds, whether traumatic or euphoric that will bind you. Some of these types of friends will be there for you no matter what. They know what is going on in your life and accept you for who you are even if they don’t agree.

There are even friends like this that go a step further. They are the friends that are honest with you. I have two friends like that. They love me enough and are righteous in character enough to be honest with me, and would happily and not so happily, kick me in the rear end if I started to wander from the path and God’s way. These are the friends I rely on for truth and support. They are the ones that know me and know what is really going on in my life and my heart. They are really more sisters than mere friends and I am so blessed to have them. I honestly thank God for them and for their honesty. In a world where the Enemy is CONSTANTLY trying to ruin us and pull us from our path, we need friends that will truly stand by us and strengthen us.

I have been blessed with many friends in many different degrees of all these categories. Some are better friends to me than I am to them, and some vice versa. I think the important part, and the wisest is to recognize each friend for who they are, and accept the limitations each might have. When we have unreal expectations is when we head down a path of discontent and anger. I have learned this the hard way, believe me.

I guess the key is really to be the best friend I can be and relax in the truth that it will come back to me from the friends that matter.

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