Attraction

Okay, I have been wondering lately…Does it always come first? Or is something that grows? Is it different in every situation? Is it different for men than it is women?

Often I hear my friends say, (both guys and girls), “I just wasn’t attracted to them”, and then they basically write the person off or slot them into the “just friends” category. Although many of my girl friends have said, “I wasn’t that attracted to him, but it grew as I got to know him”, which I rarely hear guys say.

In the movies it all about the eye contact. That moment where two people’s eyes meet across the room, the music swells, BAM the attraction hits and tada "it’s" happened. Or there’s a moment where a person is physically transformed from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan and all the sudden the other person notices and BAM there ya go…instant attraction. I love the romantic movies as much as the next chick, but that ain’t exactly reality. I wish!

I am a BIG believer in physical attraction :). I think everyone deserves the whole enchilada when it comes to relationships/marriage. I mean seriously, who wants to settle for less? With the pressures of marriage and children the physical side can be harder to keep up, so I at least want to start with the hot stuff :)

I have met maybe a handful of guys in my whole life that I was instantly physically attracted to. I am not talking about guys I think are hotties. I mean come on, those are everywhere. I live in California and we have them in abundance. No, I am talking about the physical attraction that has me tongue tied, the kind where when I sit next to them I can feel the heat from his body, the kind where I just want to stare at them and learn all their facial expressions, the kind that makes eye contact hard because my face is on fire, and the kind that makes my hands shake.

And all that is well and good and can be exciting, but how important it is to have that right away? Does that kind of attraction grow? Maybe these are unanswerable questions because everyone is different. I can’t decide. I wish it was more cut and dried. I wish both men and women in the church would give more people a chance instead of relegating them to a slot and leaving them there. It is something I need to work on.

I have no doubts that physical attraction is very important. I just hope many of us aren’t writing off “the one” because of a false paradigm when it comes to attraction. If there was a manual for all this I missed it.

Pretty deep, huh?