The Flaw of The Matter

Dita Von Teese mentioned (yes, her again) in an interview recently that women shouldn’t share their insecurities about their bodies with their men. The idea is that we should keep our thoughts on our physical “flaws” to ourselves. The quote was, “Yes, I have lots [flaws]…But I'm not going to point out my flaws, because then they'll be more noticeable. The world would be a better place if women kept their insecurities to themselves. I say, 'Accept them, live with them'.”

Do men find such lack of confidence attractive? Or would they find a woman, that was more confident (i.e. kept her insecurities to herself) more attractive? No man that I know wants to hear the whining, and to be frank I get tired of my own mental whining. I can’t imagine someone else being subjected to it. lol

Most of my guy friends have mentioned that confidence in a woman is very attractive. I am sure that is not true of all men, but probably most. We live in a time where there is so much focus on physical beauty, really to the exclusion of character. Shouldn’t a woman have both? And I don’t mean we all have to be gorgeous or wear a mass of makeup and dress sexy. I mean a woman that takes care of herself inside and out. Shouldn’t that be the goal? To be the “whole package” if you will. I am NOT talking about getting hair extensions and plastic surgery. I am talking about working with what you have and treating it with the respect that God’s Temple deserves. Showing a care for being appropriately dressed and above all exuding the Holy Spirit in character. I only have to look to Song of Solomon to see that beauty has a place.

So, I think I tend to agree with Dita. There are way too many cartoons and jokes about the eternal question, “do I look fat in this?”, for there not to be some truth in men just not wanting to hear about our supposed flaws. He might not even see it as a flaw at all…until you tell him.

Song of Solomon 4:1-4

Behold, you are fair, my love!

"Behold, you are fair! You have dove’s eyes behind your veil.  Your hair is like a flock of goats, Going down from Mount Gilead.  Your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep Which have come up from the washing, Every one of which bears twins, And none is barren among them.  Your lips are like a strand of scarlet, And your mouth is lovely.  Your temples behind your veil Are like a piece of pomegranate.  Your neck is like the tower of David, Built for an armory..."

 

DISCLAIMER: I feel I should restate for the record that while I enjoy Ms. Von Teese style (off the stage) and some her insights into style, femininity and such, I do NOT agree with her chosen profession. It’s tawdry, and there is no way around that. Just wanted to make that clear, so there’s no confusion.

Lily's Words of Wisdom

I never thought I would see a quote from Lily Allen that I would find inspirational, but what do you know?!

She was talking about her life now and stated, "The thing is, this is the life I always wanted. I always wanted to get married, I always wanted to have kids. I have always wanted to set up a home. ‘It’s not promoting drudgery...It’s about saying being at home, looking after your family, taking pleasure in cooking and being house proud, are all valid and valuable."

The whole article can be found here. The article is not even about this topic, but that is what caught my attention. It's so nice to see women recognize the importance of wives and mothers.

The Whole Duty of A Woman

Books like this fascinate me. I think it's because femininity is a lost art and so often the word "submissive" is a swear word in our feminism influenced society. We no longer revere virginity or purity, but make fun of it. Chastity used to admirable, now it reviled as naive and out of touch.

‘Every indecent curiosity or impure Fancy is a deflowering of the mind…she that listens to wanton discourse has violated her ears.’

Those words bring to mind II Corinthians 10:4-6, "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, 6 and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled."

Wise words if you ask me.

People actually think stuff like this is okay. This is horrifying!

Not such a Pretty Woman: Mother dresses girl aged THREE as prostitute in Toddlers and Tiaras pageant

Why do people think things like this are okay? How could someone’s mother put them in an outfit like this and think it was appropriate. Are we as a society this bent?

Yes, yes we are.

I couldn’t help think of a quote out of Wendy Shalit’s book Return to Modesty (pg. 131).

“As one 27 year-old Orthodox woman put it to me, with a toss of her long black hair, “there is a saying that goes Einb’not yisrael hefker. It means that the daughters of Israel are not available for public use.”

Why don’t we protect our children anymore? Why as a soceity do we allow our daughters to be viewed for public consumption?

If I am blessed with children, one of my first priorities would be to protect and teach them. Makes me wonder what this mother is trying to teach her daughter.

Uggg.

Great Blog Post

My friend Marc wrote a great blog post called One Flesh, One Heart: A Gift from God. Before I had read it I had just gotten done reading my friend Kate's birth story for her precious second daughter Elyse (Read here). I couldn't help think of her comments about her husband doing little things that were exactly what she needed him to do during her labor (not including the yucky homemade lemonade energy drink. LOL). It was a small example of what Marc is taking about, although Marc is talking about something even deeper. It is nice to read such a great example and of course, it made me tear up.

It also gives me hope. =)

Where is NOW?

Oh, Mr. Maher...do you kiss your mama with that mouth??? See article, Bill Maher Calls Sarah Palin a Female Vulgarism, NOW Stays Mum, Mr. Maher show.

Why does it not surprise me that NOW is not making a comment? I think Mr. Vadim hit the truth when he said, “NOW really ought to change its name to National Organization for Liberal Women because as far as it's concerned conservative women aren't real women at all.”

I have heard this same thought process in several conversations I have had with people. They consider themselves feminists, and yet they can not bring themselves to offer one word of support for Sarah Palin. Why? Mrs. Palin is the epitome of a feminist. The only areas they really find her “lacking” is that she is a pro-life and conservative. To them being pro-life and a conservative somehow makes her ineligible to be a feminist and not worthy of representation by feminist watch dogs.

Feminism has become irrevocably tied to the topic of abortion, by the feminists themselves. If we are pro-life, we can not in their eyes be feminists. Sarah Palin is everything a feminist should be, but because she is pro-life she is not welcome. It seems to such a clear double standard. In fact, feminism today is becoming a joke.

I think feminism, as it is today, is a travesty that is doing its best to destroy society as a whole. God did not intend for men and women to be interchangeable. We were created with wonderful differences, that if we spent less time fighting and more time embracing, we would be much happier.

Blog Worth Seeing

I know I have posted about this blog before, and I know I have a link to the right on my blog, but I just can't help myself. You HAVE to check out Mia's blog HERE called An Aspiring Homemaker. I absolutely LOVE it.

Marmee's Words of Wisdom

To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman, and I sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience. It is natural to think of it ... right to hope and wait for it, and wise to prepare for it, so that when the happy time comes, you may feel ready for the duties and worthy of the joy. -Marmee in Little Women

I LOVE this quote. It sums up my thoughts on marriage very well.

Blog Delights

I know I have mentioned it before, but this amazing blog, called Aspiring Homemaker is a total delight. I love reading each post and enjoying living precariously through the author.

If you are intrigued by homesteading and/or homeschooling and/or vintage clothes and/or modestly you will LOVE it.

I can't speak highly enough of it!!

Look at Me, Look at Me!

I am re-reading Stormie Omartian’s book The Power of A Praying Woman and I am getting even more out of it the FOURTH time around. Something that has stayed in my mind is her discussion on good ways to tell if you walk with God is shallow. Several of these hit close to home for me, so I thought I would share the five she lists.

1. If you follow the Lord for only what He can do for you.

2. If you only pray to God when things are tough or you need something.

3. If you get mad at God or disappointed in Him when He doesn’t do what you want.

4. If you love God only because of what He does.

5. If you think you have to beg God or twist His arm to get Him to answer your prayers.

I have been getting so much out of this book it is almost like I never read it before. It is interesting the things that God shows us when we ask Him. I have realized that I sometimes have a wrong attitude in my serving at church. Too often I do things with the idea that I will be able to show God I am doing good things all in an effort to earn the blessings. I am horrified that I was using my service as some kind of yard stick to show God, look at me, look at me…have I done enough now? Am I good enough now?

I will never do enough, or be good enough, that was the whole point of Christ’s sacrifice. I am very grateful that God revealed this to me, and humbled by it. Funny how that works, huh?

Does God Have Shortages?

I received an e-mail from a friend of mine not that long ago talking about how she felt there was a shortage of godly men in the church, and that we should be praying that God would call more men into the Church to be husband for us single girls.

On first read I totally agreed. Seriously, how many conversations have I had, or heard of about men just not having their act together spiritually, mentally, or economically? But then I started to think (I know, I know, never a good thing! :) Anyway, I started to think about the idea that there is a shortage of godly men in the church.

Does God have shortages?

Is God scraping the bottom of the barrel? And not that we shouldn’t pray for more people to be called by God, but is it something that just has to be done because God has run out of single men He can work with in the Church?

I don’t think so. I don’t think God suffers from shortages in this area. I think He is more than capable of working with the single men in the Church. There are so many great single men that I know. Yes, some of them could use some work, who couldn’t? I think a lot of the reasoning on the idea of a godly man shortage is that many times women want to marry men like their fathers, or older men they look up to. The major problem with that ideal is that it took those older men years to become the men we that know now! It is unfair to hold young single men to an ideal that took other men 30 plus years to obtain!

As a single girl in the Church I have had many a conversation about the sad state of the men in the church. I have heard story after story about some guy being a jerk, or just not having his act together. But is that really fair? I know plenty of women in the church, including myself, that have some big areas in our own lives that need to be worked on. We as women are not somehow exempt because we are women.I think some of the feelings from the single women come from having to wait. Patience is a virtue, but it ain’t easy! As we wait, we think, and as we think, we complain, and as we complain, we can and sometimes do develop a root of bitterness.

What are we waiting for? We are waiting for that guy that clicks, for that guy that feels so drawn to us he can’t help but pursue us. We hear the stories about a shy or aloof single guy in the church that met a woman and it was like a light went off in his head. And where in all those previous years he never pursued a girl, now with the right one he can’t help himself. He found the one.

Sometimes waiting to be found is the hardest part, but I still think about Genesis 22:19, which says, “And God remembered Rachel”. God has not forgotten about His daughters. He has not reached the bottom of the barrel and isn’t deaf to our tears and praying.

I think the important thing for me to remember is that trials of patience are still trials, which means that they have to be endured. There are lessons to be learned from trials, especially long running trials that tend to lose the clarity of the lessons to be learned because they are not trial easily overcome, but are continual.

As for me, well…I just keep trudging along, trying to make sense of it all as I pull up some of those bitter roots.

Ephesians 12:12-15

Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed. Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled…

Ecclesiastes 7:25-26

I applied my heart to know,

To search and seek out wisdom and the reason of things,

To know the wickedness of folly,

Even of foolishness and madness.

And I find more bitter than death

The woman whose heart is snares and nets,

Whose hands are fetters.

He who pleases God shall escape from her,

But the sinner shall be trapped by her.

Keepers At Home

This is one of my favorite blogs by my friend Julie. We met on a forum and she has been a true comfort to me. I am so excited that God has answered many many people's prayers for she and her husband. They are going to have a baby!! God is generous and so good. I was just reading her post about the picture frame and it gave me such a spiritual lift that I had to share. =) I have something here at home that has been a reminder of my greatest wish and prayer, but I had put it away some months ago. I am getting it back out and and putting it where I can look at it everyday. Reminders are a good thing!!

The Clutter of the Matter

I hate clutter and yet, for someone that hates it, I sure have a lot of it. I seem to accumulate stuff without even meaning to. You should see my pantry! It is a disgrace and quite frankly, embarrassing! Now, I am not saying I need to be on Clean House or Hoarders, but I do need to get some serious de-cluttering done!! It is amazing to me how much clutter weighs down on me and makes me feel blah!

I happened to catch Peter Walsh on Oprah awhile back. His specialty is getting rid of the clutter. So, to that end I bought his book and workbook called It’s All Too Much. I am hoping this book and workbook will give me some practical tools to use in getting the clutter out and keeping it out. I will get them in about a week.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t taught how to do a lot of this growing up, so I am making up for lost time. =) I am sure my mom would love to come help me now!! LOL She might enjoy the finished product more.

Cause let’s face it, if I can’t keep a clean house when it is just me and my dog, how in the world am I going to keep it clean for a husband and kids?! See? You know I was going there, huh?

I am tempted to post pictures of the before and after, but I am not sure I could get past the embarrassment of the before pictures. We will see how brave I am feeling.

Great Quote

I love this quote from Margaret Truman Daniel, who was the only child of President Harry S. Truman and his wife Bess. She and her husband had four sons and were married for 44 years before his death in 2000.

"I've had three or four different careers," she told an interviewer in 1989. "I consider being a wife and mother a career. I have great respect for women -- both those who go out and do their thing and those who stay at home. I think those who stay at home have a lot more courage than those who go out and get a job."

A Quote of A Quote

I love this quote of a quote from Wendy Shalit's book Return to Modesty (pg. 131)

“As one 27 year-old Orthodox woman put it to me, with a toss of her long black hair, “there is a saying that goes Einb’not yisrael hefker. It means that the daughters of Israel are not available for public use.”

I really like that young woman’s quote. So many young women are more than willing to share their bodies with anyone who asks. You see, I watched a movie awhile back called, Watch Jane Date. I thought, since it was an ABC Family movie that it would be clean. Well, while it was in spots, funny (yet painful), it was not clean. Jane, the main character goes so far is to sleep with someone on the first date and then is devastated that things don’t work out with him. Say what? The reasoning behind that boggles my mind. When we treat ourselves cheaply, we should be surprised when other people do the same, should we? They are only following our example.

I just finished reading Return to Modesty and would highly recommend it. Wendy Shalit is very easy to read.

An Interesting Quote

I think this snippet is worth sharing and very insightful. From The Power of Femininity by Michelle McKinney Hammond.

Femininity vs. Feminism

I think the subtlety of Satan would be laughable it if wasn't so dangerous. I'll give you an example. The "feminist movement" is not about empowering women to be feminine; it uses masculine tactics to achieve its agenda. Get it? Feminism - which is anything but feminine - does not stand for femininity, which is where a woman's true power lies. Though it pursues some causes that most of us would consider honorable, it masks an agenda that is far more sinister than the masses, or even some of the movement's leaders, could believe.

In the end, "feminism" will do us all more harm than good. Anytime a power struggle takes place between two opposing forces, any so-called "movement" that operates under any form of sexism becomes divisive at best. This is a mode of transportation we cannot afford if we really desire to reach of relational destination. Once we're all on the bandwagon of "feminism", we will find ourselves heading in the opposite direction of where we really wanted to go.

Some say that the "feminist movement" is a lesbian movement masked with a few honorable agendas to seduce the masses. After all, who would argue with equal pay for equal work? But women going off to fight in wars and leaving babies at home? It seems that the main women fighting for abortion rights are not interested in ever having children, anyway. I find this very disturbing. How far do we push the envelope in the name of equal rights? And do you really want to do everything that men do? These are important questions you need to ask yourself.

In short, I must say that I feel the "feminist movement" is out of control. Its charisma and passion for defending the rights of women have distracted us from noticing the fractions it is causing in the basic, everyday exchanges between men and women. All movements are dangerous when they result in fighting in the flesh. As spiritual women, we must forever be cognizant of the fact that we battle "not against flesh and blood, but against principalities" (Ephesians 6:12) Lasting victory over any issue in our life will only be gained as we war in the spirit. God is the true champion of liberation; we must submit our causes to Him.

Sleepover Fun

I had the girls over this weekend for one of our sleepovers. We had a Bible Study on modesty, made Bible bags (think sparklies and bedazzling!), and made rainbox cake.

The girls are so awesome. I love having them older. It has been truly amazing to watch them grow up. :)

Here are some of the cool pics from the cake. Stephanie found the recipe from here. :)

B.C. or Not to B.C.

Sybil was nice enough to point out that one of the links I had on my bio that gives a comprehensive break down on how certain birth control methods work also had some links of it’s own to some rather unsavory places. So, I decided to take the link off. (Thank you, Sybil!). If anyone wants the link just e-mail (my e-mail is in my profile) and I will send it. I will be sure to warn anyone asking for it about the additional links!

I am a big believer in women being given all the information especially about things that affect our bodies. For that reason, I think it is hugely important for women in the church to know exactly what is in certain birth control methods and how they works. I talked about it here.

I am frequently shocked at how many women either don’t know or don’t care that birth control pills or I.U.D.s, etc. (yes, even the newer kinds) can cause a woman’s body to abort a baby. If we as a church truly believe that life starts at CONCEPTION, then why would ANYONE in the church being using a form of birth control that could potentially cause a woman’s body to abort?

On a different note about birth control, a new study shows that taking menopause medications that contains estrogen and/or progestin for five years doubles a woman’s chances of getting breast cancer. So, you may be thinking…okay, that is menopause medication, but what they don’t mention and maybe haven’t done a study on yet is the fact that almost all birth controls (not including barrier methods) contain estrogen and/or progestin.

How many people do you know that have been taking birth control pills for five years or longer?

I will step off my soapbox and return to normal programming. :) You know I can’t help myself.

Talk About A Depression!

Dorothea Lange

Every once in awhile I will come across an article that really makes me realize how incredibly blessed we are in this country. This article from cnn.com, called Girl From Iconic Great Depression Photo: We Were Ashamed, is one of them.

There are families that are living in the type of situation this article details all over the world right now. There may even be families in this country that are experiencing it and we just never hear about it. It is much more politically correct to help poor people in other country's then our own. I don't think anyone should be left out of being helped.

The article says, "Her mom would put newborns in cotton sacks and pull them along as she picked cotton. The older kids would stay in front, so mom could keep a close eye on them. "We would pick the cotton and pile it up in front of her, and she'd come along and pick it up and put it in her sack," McIntosh says."

I can't even imagine having to pick cotton, which I know from my grandmother stories, was no picnic...let alone with a newborn child and small children to take care of.

This woman and others like her are so amazing. Talk about a Proverbs 31 woman!!!

Was The Proverbs 31 Woman A Career Gal?

I just got into a discussion with someone about whether or not Proverbs 31 describes a career woman. I don't think the Bible contradicts itself and I do not believe that is what God is trying to say in Proverbs 31.

I just came across a blog called Was the Proverbs 31 Woman A Career Gal by Voddie Baucham that makes a good argument for why that is not what God intended. Mr. Baucham's theology is very different from mine, but I like they way he explains his thoughts on that matter and wanted to share.