For as long as I can remember I have heard about how the subject of money can ruin a marriage. It has been said that money is the top reason for divorce. And yet, when I came across this article (entitled, "Quit fighting -- get a postnuptial agreement") my first instinct is to cringe. Okay, and my second and third instinct was cringing too.
I just can't envision being in a marriage where we would be so opposite in our views on money. In a God centered marriage I would think that a couple would have not only discussed how they would handle money, but that the husband would be sensitive to the wife's concerns and the wife sensitive to the husband's role as head of the house.
Maybe I am naive, or just living in a dream world. I have never been married and have always controlled my own money, so maybe I would handle money as a couple differently, but you can bet it would be discussed before I even got married. If money is the cause of so many divorces, why aren't people talking about it before hand?
Being a Christian or called doesn't make any of us automatically good with money. That is a learned skill and value system that we are either drawn to as an adult or taught by someone (hopefully our parents).
I am not that great with money, but I recognize the importance of being a good steward of what God has blessed me with. That is one of the reasons I really like the advice of Dave Ramsey. It is also why I am teaching myself (with God's guidance) how to be better with money.
I guess I just don't understand the concept of being married for 20 years and then deciding that I need some legal document to make me feel secure. I feel really bad for the couple in the article. I hope their marriage survives.
Is it just me or is being a grown-up complicated? Yikes.
I just can't envision being in a marriage where we would be so opposite in our views on money. In a God centered marriage I would think that a couple would have not only discussed how they would handle money, but that the husband would be sensitive to the wife's concerns and the wife sensitive to the husband's role as head of the house.
Maybe I am naive, or just living in a dream world. I have never been married and have always controlled my own money, so maybe I would handle money as a couple differently, but you can bet it would be discussed before I even got married. If money is the cause of so many divorces, why aren't people talking about it before hand?
Being a Christian or called doesn't make any of us automatically good with money. That is a learned skill and value system that we are either drawn to as an adult or taught by someone (hopefully our parents).
I am not that great with money, but I recognize the importance of being a good steward of what God has blessed me with. That is one of the reasons I really like the advice of Dave Ramsey. It is also why I am teaching myself (with God's guidance) how to be better with money.
I guess I just don't understand the concept of being married for 20 years and then deciding that I need some legal document to make me feel secure. I feel really bad for the couple in the article. I hope their marriage survives.
Is it just me or is being a grown-up complicated? Yikes.
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2 comments:
Hi Andrea,
I came across your blog from WPB:) I don't think your being naive in your thinking at all. Pre-Salvation I was into designer this and that, not that I don't like certain things still but now things that I would have purchased in the past I would find to be a waste today as I move towards being more frugal.
Therefore I know I'd need to marry someone that's of the same mindset as I am or else it will not work in the end. Dave Ramsey has also been a great help to me in this area!:)
Also I think not having all of our plans established by God, we will fail rather believer or unbeliever. My pastor's wife always says if a believer gets a divorce, someone somewhere took their eyes off of God and placed them onto themselves. If we truly value living a life that pleases Him, that will translate in our money matters as well. Not that things will alway be perfect, but our focus will go back on Him and believing He's our ultimate provider, not where we're ignorant in how we handle our finances, but when we face situations where say our spouses haven't made the best choice then we know we can go to Him in prayer over the situation.
So the short of it, I think we do have to be sure we're on the same page when it comes to money management but even with that, my focus ultimately has to be on the Lord's ability to work things out when we make those not so perfect choices.
Hi Donna!! Thanks! I totally agree :) And it is nice to hear someone else express so wonderfully, as you just did!!!
Andrea
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